We know some of you might think it sacrilege to actually wash your Jeep . . .

You know, all that dust and grime that accumulates over the years on your rig---like brush scratches and rock rash, that’s your “trail patina.” And as any of you who’ve ever watched the Antiques Roadshow surely know, once you’ve lost your patina, well---you’re hosed, basically. But this particular Jeep is a long-term test vehicle that’s scheduled to turn into a pumpkin (go back to the manufacturer) tomorrow, so off we went to restore its factory luster and shine.

At Four Wheeler, we spare no expense when it comes to vehicle maintenance, so we take all of our test rigs to the Royal Car Wash of Beverly Hills, a.k.a., “the Car Wash to the Stars."

Monk the Manager makes sure his loyal customers are well cared for.

Limos and luxury cars are commonplace at Royal, and celebrity sightings are not unknown. The last time we were there, we met Danny Bonaduce’s brother-in-law. At least that’s what he told us.

Our JK test rig passes through Royal’s state-of-the-art sterilization booth, where all contaminants and toxins are rendered harmless and all body panels thoroughly cleansed.

After a thorough rinsing, Royal’s master detailers set to work applying space-age polymers to every nook and cranny of the JK to preserve its factory sheen. Then it’s Mission Accomplished, and back to work---or maybe not. It’s such a nice sunny day in LA today, and we’ve only got the JK one more day, and that Rescue Green paint is a total babe magnet, so . . . Malibu ho!