The H2 will limp on for another couple of years, but here's one incarnation that should've been strangled at birth . . .

Hummer will offer E85-compatible flexfuel engines on both the H2 and H2 SUT starting for model year 2009, and by 2010, all Hummer models will be flexfuel-compatible. We'd have to put a few hundred miles on a test rig to say for certain, but based on our experiences with (a) Hummers and (b) ethanol rigs, we'd wager that the 2009 Hummer H2 E85 may well deliver the absolute worst fuel economy of any vehicle based off a light-duty truck chassis sold in the US in the last 20 years. Our guess: 11 mpg highway, 8 city. Going downhill. With a tailwind.

As a special added bonus, E85 Hummer owners will be doing their part to jack up their monthly grocery bills---and everyone else's too--as increased demand for E85 has caused a serious disruption in a major component of America's food supply, which in turn has adversely affected the price of meat and dairy products, sodas and sweets, breads and breakfast cereals, baby formula, jellies and jams, salad dressings, and yes, even our beloved corn dogs. Now you've really ticked us off! 

But hey, it's clean and it's green. When you put it that way, $7.99 for a bag of tortilla chips doesn't sound so bad after all, now does it?