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Learn how to drive!

A letter to those who can't drive

Posted July 31 2007 01:59 PM by rngprerunner
Filed under: Miscellaneous, Jason Gonderman

An open letter to the dude in the silver Honda that almost hit me in the parking lot...

Hey Buddy,

You don't know me, well that is you didn't until now. I am that truck you almost hit today in the parking lot. Yup, I bet you remember me now. I saw that dear in the headlights look in your eyes as you slammed on your brakes.

Just a few things here buddy...

1. This is a PARKING LOT, not a bloody speedway! The speed limit is 15mph, got that 15mph NOT 40! Is there something so important going on in your office that you have to rush back like the building is on fire and your first born is inside? Are you really that late getting back from lunch? Is that burger in your lap really going to be that much colder if you don't haul ass? Didn't think so.

2. You looked like an older gentleman, one whom had been driving for some time, and as such I ask one question... which side of the road do we drive on here in America? Thats right! The RIGHT side. Say it with me now, "We drive on the RIGHT side of the road." See... now was that so dang hard! So explain to me then why you were hauling ass down the LEFT side of the road, right as I was about to come around the corner? Surely you could have figured that another vehicle, driving in the same country, would be wanting to utilize that lane, the lane you arn't supposed to be driving in anyway!

So, man in the silver Honda, and to all the rest of you that speed around parking lots like you are Robby Gordon, KNOCK IT OFF! there are sane people trying to drive and we don't really want to have to deal with prying you out of our skid plates... not to mention your boss will be mad because you are even more late, that burger you were salivating over will be cold, and if the building is on fire then buddy you are going to watch it burn because there is no way I am letting you leave.

If you, man in the silver Honda, would like to rebut this please feel free. I am all ears.

Sincearly,

Irritated in Irvine

Reader Comments:

1. Okay, if it's gripe time, here's mine...Tailgaters. Now, I know sometimes I'm guilty of it myself, but only when some moron's doing 20 in a 60 zone. What bugs the crap out of me is when I'm doing 5-10 mph ABOVE the limit, and jackholes are STILL riding my bumper! TAKE A CHILL PILL!! Either that, or put your CrackBerry down and put both hands on the wheel.

Oh...while we're at it. Soccer moms turning around and nagging their kids when the light turns green. PAY ATTENTION. Is it so hard to just tell your kids to sit down & shut up, or no ice cream?

Edward A. Sanchez - Posted July 31 2007 02:08 PM

2. tailgaters will back way off if you drag it... sparks scare people. just sayin.

5569 - Posted July 31 2007 02:14 PM

3. I've noticed no one stops at the stop signs around here. i've been nearly hit several times while walking in the crosswalks because people don't stop. I guess every one that drives in Irvine is exempt to simple driving rules.

- Posted July 31 2007 02:24 PM

4. melissa, we call that the "california stop" :)

joela - Posted August 1 2007 04:51 PM

5. Only rebuttal to tailgaters comments by esanchez above - if you are on the highway AND on the left lane AND the people in the other lanes are going faster than you (even if you are doing 5-10 over), I'd say that would be a permissible tailgate. Regardless of the speed limit, the left lane has always traditionally be seen as the 'passing lane'.

Oh, and for the record, I've noticed that in all of southern california, Camry owners and people who drive some sort of caravan are generally the worst drivers. :)

cubsfan - Posted August 6 2007 01:28 PM

6. Cubsfan, you nailed it. I'd add Prius drivers to that list. They're either Al Gore Jr. fast, or granny slow. Same with the others. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground.

truckmod75 - Posted August 7 2007 05:38 PM

7. Greatest thing is when you park beside them so close they can't get into there vehicle. It an extra bonus if your truck is lifted.(no dings)

the_figmint - Posted August 12 2007 11:30 AM

8. Tailgaters are easy to deal with, I just downshift real quick with no brake action. They tend to back off after that.

danielmid - Posted August 16 2007 01:05 AM

9. tailgating irratates me when im going 5-7 over in the right but downright gets me furouse when im doing the speed limit on the right & the left is open & my 13 month old son is in the truck!!! ill go to the shoulder and pick some good sized rocks up with my tires and watch them drop back 200 feet or soo.(i just get one sid on the rumble strip)

looseseverything - Posted August 19 2007 07:51 PM

10. I have found a great way to get rid of tailgater's. I have resorted to chemical warfare, I have adjusted the windshield cleaner nozzles up to where they spray the very top of my windshield where it will still clean but also spray over my truck and get the car behind me.
Now to add insult to injury I have made a brew of pine cleaner and vinegar as my washer fluid..not only does it have the effect of a skunk but it also cleans the bugs and mud off my windshield like you wouldn't believe.

Nothing more satisfying then seeing their wipers come on and the look of horror/disgust on their faces as they suddenly brake and/or change lanes.

86S10Blazer - Posted August 24 2007 04:22 AM

11. I'm with everybody else here, bad drivers are a problem everywhere. Try driving in south florida! You have a mixture of non-english speakers, outright a-holes, and a huge majority of senior a-holes. I used to work construction and traveled all over the southeast. South florida, from west palm on down had the worst drivers I've ever been around. Just check out the death toll on the florida turnpike and that will give you a good idea of what goes on down there. After 6 months in Ft. Lauderdale and Miami navigating Atlanta was cake. My advice, Ranchhand bumpers!

cumminspower - Posted September 5 2007 08:57 PM

12. One more reason to drive around a beat prerunner with a beefy tube bumper. Don't have to slow down for left hand drivers, silver hondas, or even red light runners. While most people are upgrading to trucks with sheetmetal bumpers that are afraid to get scratched, those of us in the know keep nothing but tubular steel between us and those cellphone sporting morons just looking for a good nerf into the bushes.

motiracer38 - Posted September 12 2007 12:23 AM

13. There wouldnt be a with tailgaters if you owned a lifted truck with swampers covered in mud. once you got up to speed mud would be flyin that would deter those tailgaters ya just need to get as much mud on the rig as ya can.

Dotline - Posted March 31 2008 06:15 AM

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